Healthy Fried Rice

Author's note - this is not a cooking blog, it's a blog where I bitch about how much my life sucks, and things of that nature.  But thanks to the Dutchess and Hungry Guide, I am feeling inspired. So here we go.

Tonight I made Thai Fried Rice, or, as my dad used to joke when I was a kid, "Flied Lice!" (Which you may think makes us terribly racist, but I was too young to know it at the time, plus my dad is certainly not racist - he's just an inappropriate).  This is not your typical Thai fried rice...this is my own invention based off a recipe that ends up not resembling the recipe much at all.  That's how pretty much all my cooking is.  Yes, I live in Thailand, I use Thai ingredients, and I use Thai recipes...but don't for a moment let that fool you that this is actual Thai food!  But I like to think it tastes good anyway.

Ingredients:

• Chinese Kale (or other vegetable if you prefer. I prefer leafy greens as they're healthy)
• Your favorite mushrooms (I'm obsessed with mushrooms. I put them in EVERYTHING)
• Garlic, as much as you like (I use a metric shit-ton, cause I loooove garlic!)
• Thai chilis, also as much as you like
• Some 1-3-day-old cooked rice (I always use brown rice)
• 1 egg
• Cooking oil - 2T
• Fish sauce - 1-2T, or to taste
• Oyster sauce - 1-2T, or to taste
• Meat of your choice, if desired (I used chicken)
• Cilantro for garnish

Are you seeing a theme here? Yeah, I am a big fan of the "throw stuff in the wok until the end result is tasty" method of cooking.  So, it's safe to say that measurements are not my style. I've put in a few guidelines here for those of you following along at home (you poor, poor people, if you're actually using my recipes to cook).

The ingredients - total cost about $4 USD

First, crush the garlic with the flat side of the cleaver

Crushed garlic. Skins can be removed, or not. Up to you!

Thai chilies - so spicy!  Me like :) Crush with the side of the knife, just like the garlic. Slice into pieces. The more cuts you make, the spicier the dish gets.

This is where the magic happens. No, I'm not shitting you. A wok on a stool by the window.

Put about 2T of cooking oil in the wok. After it heats, fry the garlic and chilies until the garlic is golden.

Next, add the chicken and stir fry for a few minutes, until it is mostly cooked.

Then, add the mushrooms and stir fry some more, about another minute.

Add the fish sauce, oyster sauce, and vegetables. If you don't want your kale to be totally wilted by the time the dish is done, don't cook it yet. Stir fry together for less than 1 minute.

Toss in the cooked rice, and the kale if it's not already in there. Stir fry for 1-2 minutes, until everything is tossed nicely and the veggies are cooked.

Push the rice away so there is a round space in the middle of the wok. Pour a bit more oil in, just enough to keep the egg from sticking to the wok.

Crack the egg and drop it in, then scramble it with your spatula. Don't mix it with the rice until it's cooked.

Once the egg is cooked, mix all the ingredients together. Remove the wok from the heat (and turn off the burner of course!). Put rice onto a plate and garnish with cilantro. Enjoy!

Man, I totally need a food photographer!!